This novel shows an example of an author who has planned a book of great scope but then doesn’t have room in a single volume to “show” readers everything, and thus is reduced to “telling” all the creative details. Characters are carefully thought out and described in great physical detail., and they develop in interesting ways as the story progresses. However, rapid changes of point of view and explanatory flashbacks keep the reader from fully engaging with the story or the people.

Every character, at their entry into the story, gets a page or more of physical description. It is more effective to give readers a paragraph of description and then scatter the rest of the information throughout the action, as each quality becomes appropriate to the story line.

The full page of minute description of the school’s crest is definitely overkill.

The writing style is also problematic, with a few important flaws. All authors have to be careful about getting sentences in the proper order.

“Baxter slapped Gozney on the shoulder, who was looking mournfully at the main hangar doors, ”

This misplaced modifier indicates that the shoulder is looking at the doors. Better perhaps would be:

“Gozney was looking mournfully at the main hangar doors.

Baxter slapped him on the shoulder.”

The original isn’t exactly wrong. It just spoils the smooth flow of the narrative, like a pothole in a smoothly paved road. It also jumps out of chronological order, (first Gozney looks at the hangar; then Baxter slaps his shoulder) which has a similar effect on the reader’s concentration.

And in Sci-Fi you must get your science straight. The “dark side of the moon” gets as much sunlight as any other part. We call it the dark side because it always faces away from earth, so we don’t see it. The dark side of Mercury is always dark because that planet is tidally locked to the sun.

A well-orchestrated final climax leads us to an ending based on C. S. Lewis’s Narnia series, except in this case it’s the first book of the series, and the next events, far from being “so great and beautiful that I cannot write them,” are exactly what the rest of the series will be all about.

This is a reasonable story. It just needs a lot of polishing to make it an easier read.

Three stars.

This review was originally published on Reedsy Discovery