“So I Might Be a Vampire” Rodney V. Smith

As I was reading this book, I was thinking, “This must be written by a professional.” The writing is crisp, clean and witty. Wonderful characters tumble forth in profusion, written in a style of world-weary self-consciousness that has the author talking directly to the reader and coming clean on the nuts-and-bolts of the writing process: stretches, exaggerations and downright lies. It’s all very alluring.

And then, as I read on, I began to think, “This must be written for television.” The story just doesn’t go anywhere. In fact, in the novel sense, there is no story here. Just a series of interesting and highly entertaining episodes. Trying to sit down and read it all is like binge-watching a good TV sitcom on Netflix; it’s great at first, but palls rapidly.

Continuing with our television analogy, there is a place in every script that some writers call the “Fun and Games” section. It comes in the end of the first act when we have established the conflict and the theme, and started the action going. Then is the time to relax a bit and enjoy the premise: in this case, someone finding out what it’s like to be a vampire.

In this book that happens from Page One onward. We immediately get the idea that being a vampire sucks, that it does  nothing to change your life in any positive way. And we see it for the rest of the book. An entertaining and creative series of episodes demonstrate in delightful ways that being a loser and a vampire just makes you a loser vampire. When the action climaxes in the final episode, it’s a great series closer, with all the wonky action, great suspense and witty dialogue we have come to expect.

So when the author/narrator comes clean at the end and admits that he’s a professional television scriptwriter, we aren’t surprised. When he further states that he had trouble finding an ending, we are even less surprised. There is no real story to end. He has proved his premise over and over in every entertaining episode, and like a successful sitcom writer, he is always tempted to write just one more show.

And for everyone who enjoyed Season One, it seems there’s a Season Two, pardon me, Book 2 in the works. I’m sure we’ll enjoy that one just as much.

Recommended for sitcom and other TV vampire show fans. Just don’t try to read it all at once.

4 Stars (4 / 5)

About the Author: Gordon Long

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